METRO MANILA Culinary Smorgasbord

31 May 2008. I was excited when Annie Koh emailed to me a week before and requested to meet up for a food trip. A food trip?!? You gotta be serious! I don’t back out on matters of chowtime especially “my” desserts. If there’s a list of topnotchers for gluttony, I’m one of the gravest sinners amongst humankind.

Of course, I was thrilled by the idea of taking Annie and her friend Hizzie on a food trip. With the way Annie sounded on her emails, I knew that she’s a foodie but little did I know that she can eat like a wild boar on a leash. Her digestive system was an enormous shocker for a petite girl she’d make it to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.

"Lord, why us?" -- Food

The day of the gluttons came. With a cellphone with zero balance plus my two companions without cellphones, it was almost passable as a miracle that we managed to meet up with the Korean girls Hizzie (McGuire) and Annie (the little orphan). My gratitude is likewise extended to Jason (Voorhees), Charles (Bronson), Julie (Bakeshop), Nick (Carter), Anjalie (Jolie), Paolo (Paraiso), Eric (Mabius), and Ryan (Reynolds).

Just a random thought – Ain’t Hizzy or Hizzie an urban slang for hoe? Hizzie, there’s no need to be enraged! *Puts on my halo*

SALCEDO MARKET, Makati City

We live to eat

Nothing can go wrong in that place. The food choices are too overwhelming it would normally make a typical “glutton” feel like life is at a crossroads. It takes a minimum of an hour for a decision alone. Deliberating on food and beverage selection is one thing, buying is another.

Salcedo Market

Jason, that looks like my Kindergarten uniform haha

Gotta have 'em Galettes n' Crepes! God im craving for 'em now!!!

In shade we seek refuge...to eat

Wholly Cow!!!

Wholly cute!!!

Want some ice cream?

Jaq's Kitchen (try the dips! esp. adobong tahong)

We found our spot and shared a table with fellow foodies. It was fun because we accidentally met Nick and Julie ordering their crepes at a French stall. Yum! What’s even more surprising was they too were planning to go to Chinatown right after. That was a pretty convenient meeting.

For our brunch we had Crabs, Sautéed eggplant, Squash with coconut milk, Caldereta, Pork with shrimp paste, Mini rice cake/muffins (puto), and Japanese Pancakes in cream cheese and strawberry plus cream cheese and ham, and Thai Milk Tea.

I couldn't even remember why I was so happy hihi

Pao and Anj, and a street kid at the back lol

Charleeyyyy you bit meeh!

We spent a couple of hours sharing our food, stories, and of course, more food. I would like to broadcast to everyone I know, to you who came across this blog entry by will or by force, and to those who will be unfortunate enough to know me, that should you feel the strong urge to shut my blabber mouth up, you know what to offer me. It works 100% of the time.

But! Please refrain from offering me exotic dishes as I only have a limited tolerance for mythical creatures. I already ate frogs and crickets in Pampanga, and miniature spiders and creatures when I was asleep. But please, it’s scientifically proven that I am allergic to Balut – “the queen of the damned eggs”. If you want proof I can give to you our family physician’s contact numbers, even his email address.

Kidding aside, we truly commiserate with Annie and Hizzie because the day before, which was by the way their first day in the Philippines, they were fooled by “hospitable” strangers they met at a local market in Manila. They partied the day and night away only to be drugged and robbed of 95% of their cash. The hospitable strangers-cum-thieves even managed to delete their pictures from Annie’s digital camera to scrub out the evidence. Clever asses!

According to the girls, they were the nicest robbers on the face of the earth for not taking their other possessions. Yeah, right. We just welcomed that romanticized thought and faked our smiles we looked like a bunch of Mona Lisas. But God knows how much I wanted to drug those robbers with Dora rat killer. Wait, that’s poisoning! Erase, erase, erase.

Seriously, we’re just totally relieved they’re both safe. And seeing their predacious revenge done towards our innocent food, I was sure they’d be perfectly fine in no time.

Tip: When meeting strangers and eventually enjoying their company, always be cautious – especially with consuming “drinks”.

GREENBELT 3, Makati City

The next stop was at Time Zone at Greenbelt 3 Tropical Mall. We had to give our gastric acids enough time to digest the main culprit for our bloated tummies. At Timezone we consumed a couple of hours playing the quiz machine, dance revolution, boxing machine, LOTR pinball, and more. The games seriously had the kid in me spellbound that I forgot to take pictures of us whilst playing. Bummer!

Exhausted from Timezone-ing

Annie!!! Stop eating my Jappy pancakes! You just ate the fried chicken!

Who am I?

Seize the day!

CHINATOWN, Manila City

Who would miss Chinatown when it comes to food talk? After several visits to this place to accompany my guests, I now feel panicky that Chinatown would ban me from entering soon. If that happens, I may just have to undergo plastic surgery all for the love of food.

Whilst Nick and Julie met up with Ryan at PRESIDENT’S, the rest of us had a glimpse of the Binondo Church. Was it to compromise with God for our day of gluttony?

Binondo Church 1

Binondo Church 2

Binondo Church 3

San Lorenzo Ruiz - Filipino Saint

Have you faith?

Binondo Purple Fire Truck

I caught this dragonfly hihi (but I freed it okay?!?!)

At President’s we had Siomai, Dumplings, Chinese Pechay, Spinach in garlic sauce, Calamares, and a big serving of mixed meat, noodle, century eggs, and vegetables (I forgot its menu name). Also, Julie finished off the flavoursome Japanese pancakes in cream cheese and strawberry. We’re a bunch of ultimate gluttons and we’re damn proud of it.

Whoever took this photo clearly had ILL feelings towards RYAN (rightmost) BWAHAHAHA!

Famished? hihi

Annie: "I ate all the food in our fridge before coming to the Philly"

Eric, why so happy?

I SIOMAI love to you

Fresh dumplings

Spinach in garlic sauce (yummm-meh!)

I forgot what it's called...but it's sweet

Anyway, I planned for us to eat at DONG BEI’s after a long time of fruitless search for this “hole in the wall” and when I finally learned of it’s location along Yuchengco Street (thanks to Helen!), Ryan set the meeting at President’s Restaurant. Oh I so wanted to have him voodoo-ed for that. I’ll just reserve Dong Bei for next time.

QUIAPO CHURCH, QUIAPO MARKET, PLAZA MIRANDA – Manila City

We walked a long distance into the world of street markets. We passed by stalls that sold all kinds of stuff. From toys to do-it-yourself tools, to charms and amulets, to clothes and shoes, to pirated DVD’s, to nuclear cutting weapons, to fresh kidneys, to assassination service, to weird concoctions known as abortion syrups, love potions (gayuma) and more. That’s way too strange considering the fact that the historical and famous Quiapo Church is located at the heart of the place. The area was oozing with contradiction. And our existence there was a clear sign of adding insult to injury. hihi

We also witnessed the preparation for their local Santa Cruzan and were flocked by adorable and not-so adorable kids. After a few jump shots with the rowdy youngsters led by no other than Ryan, we felt it was time to proceed to the next stop for dinner before we get barred from entering even the most dirt-cheap of eateries due to our human-repellant smell.

CUBAO EXPO, Quezon City

It was a fun LRT-2 train ride from Recto station to Araneta Centre-Cubao station with all of us crazy passengers. We even had photos taken inside the train – which we later found out was forbidden.

Cubao in Quezon City is known to be overpopulated. It used to be the business district in the really really old days but the city-planners did not foresee the influx of people that led to what it is today. I am glad that the Ayalas are cooperating with the Aranetas to revive its lost charm with the Gateway Mall and the new complexes around the area, and the future landmarks of Cubao.

At Cubao Expo near the Gateway Mall, you will find interesting shops that most hippies and yuppies would love to hang out at. There are clothes shops, art shops, furniture shops, and my favourite, food shops. We had desserts and drinks at HALO’s cosy second floor where you can just sit on the cushioned floor with pillows and short-legged tables. Aaahh! The good life. I must say I loved the desserts – Space Brownies and the Rhum cake which to me was an oversized pancake. Hmmm! Guilty pleasure indeed.

@ HALO

Annie playing hide and seek with what's on the menu lol

Annie and Hizzie: "Let's order this, this, this, this, this"

Nick: "God, someone has to stop them"

After spending most of our evening at Halo, Annie and Hizzie had a shopping galore at a nearby shop, and we all went to visit a really cool antique shop. Charles’s energy went below zero so Jason and I had to leave and come home. After all, it was almost midnight – and it’s way past our bedtime.

The others proceeded to My Brother’s Moustache for some drinking. As to what happened to them? Go figure.

Kidding! Tee-hee!

‘Dive and Trek’ BATANGAS Adventure

24 May 2008. A week’s postponement to our intro diving caused by early stormy season in May didn’t dampen our high spirits. It even enflamed our excitement all the more. But sleeping at 3:00am prior to the under the sea adventure due to my abnormal limits of internet use, a 4:30am call time was obviously impossible. Our master diver Ryan should know better — even if it meant we were to be fetched, my pituitary gland automatically sent out messages to cause sudden muscle spasms.

I normally rest good hours of sleep back in the days, but ever since I was introduced to the world of nomads my sleeping time became erratic it’s more apt to call it a snooze.

That’s true…I swear.

I heard endless missed calls at around 4:30am but my locomotive ability wasn’t sufficient to move a single hand until our “pick-up” personnel Ryan and Rissa finally had the lobby guard forcefully woke me up through my intercom. They had to eventually come up to my room to strip off what’s left of my drowsiness.

Late Start

At 6am our road trip to the land of interesting Filipino accent (aka Batangas) commenced. It was immensely enjoyable because it was a wacky group headed by our Master Diver Ryan, and the seven dwarves Rissa, Jason, Helen and her brother Greg, and I. We were just to meet the gruesome twosome KM and Simon at Dive and Trek Resort.

Just so everybody knows, there would have been a really great addition to our group, Jaja Valencia, whose real name we recently unearthed (it’s for us to know, for you to find out). But our ‘ever-reliable’(?) master diver gave out the wrong number of Rissa to her. Poor girl she had to wait in vain!

‘Bagets’ Road Trip

Along the way we enjoyed the astonishing views in Tagaytay especially the breathtaking Taal Lake and Volcano, and had a stopover at ROWENA’S to buy us some snacks. I strongly recommend their Blueberry Cheesecake.

We also had delicious breakfast at Pancake House for some waffles Rissa had been craving for since the previous week. I sensed whoever maneuvered the choice of restaurant would be greatly chastised by her. Now that’s something you wouldn’t seriously wish to happen. Unless of course, you wish to meet a She-Hulk.

After a while of deliberation about our shared orders and complicated requests made to our server Neil, Jason and I ended up having a double-order of Waffles with Peach and we just had to pay for it because as Neil was repeating the final list, we were just nodding like slave dogs. It was a lesson learned the hard way.

30% of my energy during road trips is for non-stop talking and 70% for sleeping. And like any typical friend of mine, one of them just had to enjoy snapping shots of anyone sleeping. Unfortunately as always, I am one strong contender for “The Victim”. And as always, the main culprit is Rissa.

Dive and Trek Resort

After almost 5 hours of journeying (with stops), we finally arrived at our destination in Batangas. The boat ride to Dive and Trek resort was about 15-20 minutes and we arrived at the resort at about 10:30am. According to our Master Diver Ryan, the Dive and Trek has the most beautiful diving spot closest to Metro Manila. Should any of you have violent reactions please course all your angst to Ryan Guzman.

Am I clear? I repeat, Ryan Guzman.

Before moving on, would you believe this retard was actually our Dive Instructor?

Yes, our fates and lives were totally under massive threat to meet final destination. *Knocks on wood!*

Anyway, there were a number of people who were at Dive and Trek Resort because it was a Saturday. But heck! Wherever we set foot on is our turf – and we will fight for it like mad dogs and territorial beasts.

Greg went first after a short introduction to scuba diving because he had to leave for Thailand the next day. Tip: You must have at least 24 hours gap prior to your flight otherwise you’ll end up having bends – let’s just say your veins would be like that of Incredible Hulk’s and you’ll eventually end up looking like a zombie character in 28 Days Later movie.

Helen, Jason, and I spent more than an hour of snorkeling in the deep waters enjoying the colourful world of Poseidon. It was then Jason’s turn for scuba diving and Greg joined in on the snorkeling fun. We stayed too long my fingertips wrinkled like my great grandma’s until our tummies crumbled in protestations.

Sad fact: Helen, Greg, KM, Simon, and I had to wait a long time for the rest for lunch. Oh, for 2000 pesos, it already included the boat ride and the scuba diving necessities, towels, life vests, the great food and snacks, and bottomless beverage of Milo and orange juice. It was all worth it.

Paparazziiii!!!!!

After an hour of binging, I sunbathed whilst Helen was underwater trying to look for a pearl amidst the wide coral sanctuary.

Then it was my turn. I caught a fish that bit my cheek, but I let it go because poking was not allowed in the first place. But it was just so tempting!

DON’T JUDGE ME.

It’s my turn to catch some fish for dinner

Crotch Grab is part of scuba diving

Birdy Mode

Showing peace sign to baby sharks below the coral

Master Diver Ryan tried to feed me to the giant clam!

Sizzling fishy

I love this Fried

I love this for my Tinola

I love this steamed

I love this grilled

I love seafood pasta!

For Sale: Underwater Feather Duster

One giant pickle for take-away

Rub the teat for some pearls

Underwater Version of Mother and Child

After serious eating, drinking of Milo, and long hours of snorkeling, we just can’t stop from taking silly pictures of ourselves, especially our all-time favourite, the jump shots. Move over, Michael Jordan!

Humanised fish

Up, Up, and Blag!%#@*

Spelled RYAN

Oblation, Statue of Liberty, Buddha, Cleopatra, Jesus

Street Fighter XXX

Shiva

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Revitalising mode

Brown is the talk of the town

Studio 23

Ex-convicts

And there’s this strange dancing video that Rissa took of us. She tricked us! She told us to dance to the tune of that “wild music” blaring from her speakers for a “picture-taking”, only to end up making us the silly victims of her wicked video prank.

On Our Way Home

About an hour of hitting the road, Ryan’s car smelt of nasty sock burnt rubber we just had to stop at a dark place but with few houses around. It was already past 8pm. It turned out the few people who were living there were extremely hospitable I could sponsor for their sainthood. It’s not an exaggeration, except if they were a band of cannibals trying to trap a rowdy gang for our succulent meat. They even offered to cook for us upon hearing that we were on our way to have dinner at TAJ in Tagaytay. They also tried to fix Ryan’s car so I went out and slept at a bushy waiting shed. I think I was that hungry the snakes refused to come my way.

Since something important was broken in Ryan’s car, we decided to just leave and have Ryan stay at a hostel and return for it the next day. Without a single car passing by, a very kind tricycle driver was forced to carry 10 people inside (and outside) his small vehicle the bottom part literally scratched the road every 5 seconds. And it was a relatively long drive. Uh-oh!

How to Destroy a Tricycle with 10 Strays

We have babies inside those huge bags lol I kid!

Tres Marias de Lemery

The bus station was still closed so we first had our 10:30pm dinner at a street food joint for some Tapas, garlic rice, and cold Pepsi. Hmmm! Guess what? We found a lost soul…a Buddhist kid! Want proof?

Are we in Tibet?

I felt a strong repulsive force when Ryan and Bernard the tricycle driver came back with a bag of “Balut” – a Philippine-famous steamed duck-egg with a fetus monster inside plus few tablespoons of spoiled pee. I ended up throwing mine after a “serious” acting. I felt remorseful for cheating though, but I just can’t handle the smell and the baby monster. Gross!

I am totally clueless of what’s to come

Each had manual laying of egg for dinner lol

I hate Balut. End of Story

Lemery Bus Station

12:00pm. Rissa had to go diving the next day anyway so she stayed in Batangas with Ryan. We were too early at the terminal the first bus departs at 2am so we had nothing to do but to wait for a couple more hours. To kill the time, Helen, Greg, Jason, KM, Simon, and I played “Shaggedy(?)”, and Charades that lasted until inside the bus. Oh! Helen, Jason, and I won. Hooray!

Would you believe we were chasing our bus here? Joke

Our day ended and started anew with only but smashingly great memories. However great a destination is, the basal strength of ultimate satisfaction lies with the people you share your experiences with. Good thing there wasn’t a single rotten companion included in our day’s adventures.

*Looks in front of the mirror*.

Or so I thought.

La Buena Familia